


Fantastic Beasts and Where Not to Find Them

by Frostberry



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Puffskeins, harry potter au? idk, i started this fic over a year ago and never finished it, iruka gets a bit pissed off in this one, set in the wizarding world but its kinda ninja like still, until now????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 19:38:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frostberry/pseuds/Frostberry
Summary: A Wizard of the name Kakashi Hatake who cannot speak English has just arrived at MACUSA's headquarters; the only MACUSA employee who can speak Japanese is Iruka. Unfortunately for Iruka, Kakashi is making him very late by avoiding important questions.





	Fantastic Beasts and Where Not to Find Them

Fantastic Beasts and Where Not to Find Them

“I have come to America to buy a puffskein.” said the Japanese wizard, pointing his wand at his own throat so his words could translate to English. However, the wizard must not know the charm very well because it went straight back into Japanese after a few words. 

Iruka was made to go and talk to the wizard who had just arrived in America, as the only one currently available in the building who knew multiple languages. He was a MACUSA contractor tutor, for god's sake - not a damn translator. Damn Genma must have recommended him to Sandaime. He sighed, and looked at the name on the parchment he was given - Kakashi Hatake, arrived by plane three weeks ago from Tokyo and forgot to go to MACUSA for wand registration. They took Kakashi to a room he could not apparate out in a puff of leaves, and his wand was in currently being assessed under law C-42A, which Iruka was looking at. He scribbled down notes on what type it was, (Lightning tree with hazelnut) and how many spells it had done in the last three weeks (Eighty-three). 

“Really? Is that all?” 

“You only get them here.” the masked wizard was utterly unconcerned that in America in the 21st century, magical animals were still illegal to possess. “I read about them.” 

Iruka looked a little inpatient, at this idiot wizard. “You may be mixing up England with America. If you are in possession of any magical beasts, including in your sealing scrolls, you will be removed from the country immediately. Fair’s fair.” 

The wizard looked quite uncomfortable. “But you can’t take away my dogs. You get dogs in America.” 

“Are they Crups?” 

“No…” said Kakashi. “...They’re dogs.” 

“Look, Mr. Hatake,” said Iruka, finishing off the form which cleared Kakashi’s wand, “Dogs are ok - Americans do have dogs as companions. You cannot seal any animal in sealing scrolls here. We have different laws to other wizarding countries, and we have to abide by them.” 

“My dogs aren’t here,” said Kakashi. “They’re in Japan.” 

Iruka filed his signature down the bottom of the parchment form, and gave the quill over to Kakashi to sign also. “Thank you, Mr. Wizard. I’m off to buy a puffskein.” 

Iruka wanted to hit his head on the table. “Mr Hatake, you don’t GET puffskins here.” 

“...Yes you do.” 

“No,” said Iruka firmly. “You don’t.” He wanted to pull the mask down of the wizard and slap him on the face. He flicked through the profile, and peered at the passport photo of Kakashi, slowly blinking at the camera. The photo was stapled onto the top of the form, the metal staple coming off, from Kakashi obviously picking at it. 

“You also have arrived without a proper passport photo.” said Iruka. 

“Huh?” said Kakashi. “Are you talking about my mask?” 

“Yes, all wizards and witches have to have their faces uncovered for passport photos unless it is for cultural or religious reasons.” 

Kakashi shrugged. “I can’t take the mask off. It’s a curse I have had for years.” At this, Kakashi pulled the mask down - and there was another mask underneath. “Permanent.” 

Iruka was done playing games here. “I have work to be attending to.” 

“You aren’t the translator here?” 

“No, I’m an wizardry elementary school tutor, we don’t have translators.” And with that, Iruka picked up his briefcase. “Good day to you, sir.” 

He left; the last thing Iruka saw was Kakashi’s eyes slightly widen. As soon as Iruka past the non-apparition line, he apparated to his desk, in the far corner of the MACUSA building. He searched through his papers for the next wizard he was going to tutor. “Morning, Iruka,” said one of the other tutors cheerfully, putting on his travelling wizard’s hat. “You look like you’ve already had a rough day.” 

“Well, if MACUSA would hire translators instead of coming to me, that would be flipping fantastic,” Iruka grumbled. “A Japanese wizard was very, very sure he could buy magical creatures in this country.” 

The other wizard laughed his head off. “Merlin’s beard! Someone is messed up. Anyway. I’ll speak to Sandaime about hiring apprentices from Ilvermorny that can speak different languages. Where are you going, now?” 

“Going to Seattle,” said Iruka, looking at his notes. “New student, Sasuke Uchiha. Recently added to the list. Don’t know anything but the name. Whoever wrote this has  _ very  _ bad handwriting.” 

“Have fun,” said the other wizard, and with a puff of leaves, he vanished into the floorboards. 

Iruka sighed. He was already forty five minutes late because of the annoying Japanese wizard. Originally the arrangement was via portkey, but the object, a vase, had left a long time ago. 

Thinking of the address clearly in his head, he went headfirst into apparition; the horrible feeling of being sucked into a tube for several seconds as he teleported instantly across the country. 

With a bang, his polished shoes hit cherry floorboards, his dark green robes going up several inches as he went exactly where the object would have been. Luckily Iruka did not hit the vase, as it wasn’t there. He looked up to see a grumpy looking ten year old wearing muggle clothes in front of him. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Iruka began, dusting down his robes and picking up his briefcase, “Had a bit of a busy morning.” 

“I have been waiting,” said the boy - Sasuke, his name must have been - but the way he spoke was not English. He was speaking Japanese. 

“Looking for this?” A familiar voice said behind him. Iruka turned to the hallway to see nothing but Kakashi Hatake, wearing the same robes as before and holding a vase. On his shoulder was a fluffy, custard yellow furball with bright blue eyes. Getting over the shock of Kakashi managing to trick him, he was going to have a go at him until he realised what was on his shoulder. 

“...Is that a  _ puffskein? _ ” 

\-- END -- 


End file.
